Here is the first verse of my song The Power is in the Kiss:
The power is not in a top down ultimatum
It’s not in the angry raising of your fist
The power is not in your well defended position
Real power, purest power is in the kiss
In many arenas of society in the past year we have seen a lot of what I describe as the “wrong kind of power” in this first verse: “top down ultimatums, angry raising of your fist, well defended position… calling down heaven’s fire on the ones we think are lower than ourselves.” These actions and attitudes flow from a belief that “I am right, I have the power, and I am going to exert my power to get my way, even if it means I will dominate you and show violence in doing so.”
In his book, “A More Christlike God,” Bradley Jersak describes the way Christ rules: “…Christ rules through love rather than coercion—through persuasion rather than force—through revelation rather than domination.”
Jersak goes on to explain that consent rather than coercion is how the Father and the Son relate to one another. “Consent is the divine act of love between Father and Son. Some have said that as the Father kisses the Son, the Holy Spirit is the kiss. The Son shows his love for God the Father by continually consenting—obeying, surrendering, yielding—to his Father’s will (and God’s will is love!).”
Jesus showed us a very different kind of power than we see in some of our modern-day politics. He showed us and upside down kind of cruciform power – going to the cross. He showed is kenotic power – emptying himself of his rights to exercise authority as God (Philippians 2). Kenosis means to “empty yourself of self will.”
The kenotic and cruciform power of Jesus is described in the bridge of “The Power is in the Kiss:”
It’s the power of love reaching across the great divide
Embracing the lonely ones on the other side
It’s the power of the peaceful dove
The power of an open door
The power of an outstretched hand
Giving help to the weak and poor
The power of real surrender, it’s the power of letting go
It’s the weakness of an earthen vessel,
Filled with power, purest power from above
In marriage and in all relationships, surrendering our power, or letting other people have their way is often the right choice. Another way of saying that is from 1 Cor 13: “Love is not insisting on your own way.” This is how I approach my relationship with Linda, my wife. It’s also the way I try to behave in my interactions with friends, co-workers and strangers in the marketplace.
Though we don’t automatically allow ourselves to be run over or abused, at the very least we are called to show love and respect at all times to all people. Paul writes to Titus, “…be peaceable and considerate, and always…gentle toward everyone.” (Titus 3:2)